Taking a New Look at an Old Problem: Relationship and Intimacy

“What if intimacy was something we could learn and understand? Is your conversation about intimacy and relationship the one you grew up with? Have you discovered anything new intimacy or how to create it? What Would Happen if We Developed a Deeper Relationship with Intimacy? The SH Method for Relationship Counseling is to help individuals and couples access the presence and palpable experience of the presence of intimacy. And to leave each person experiencing a deeper connection to themselves and to each other and the fulfillment that brings to the depths of their being.”

— Shirin Hart

The SH Method for Couples Counseling

What I used to believe was the traditional couples therapy approach which supports couples in solving their issues through teaching communication practices and problem solving methods. It meets primarily with the couple together. After practicing this type of couples counseling I came to realize that it is a model that misses half of the puzzle and leaves the couple more frustrated and upset.

What I now believe is that a holistic approach is essential for couples having breakthroughs and reaching their goals. The reason is because individual barriers to intimacy can only be effectively addressed in one on one sessions. So in this model we meet with the couple both as a couple and in one in one sessions individually to address those various barriers. In the one on one with each member of the couple we work to help them get past unconscious family patterns, baggage from past relationships, past traumas, the inner critic in one on one sessions with each individual partner. And if needed we can connect our patients with holistic doctors to help optimize hormones, relaxation and energy which can also be key factors in building a healthy relationship and intimacy. During the couples sessions, I support the couple in learning specialized communication techniques that support them in getting past defensiveness, and in getting past feelings of hurt, disconnection and even betrayal. We use customized techniques and approaches to help couples learn how to problem solve and experience deeper connection, love, and passionate intimacy. Once emotional intimacy is experienced and learned, you can never get over it. Life and the experience of relationship is forever transformed.